Vegetarian Nacho Poppers & Guac

I used to love experimenting with food, especially in high school. During that time, when I had a lot more time on my hands, I loved trying to make various sandwiches, all with crazy ingredients! My favorite one I ever made was one with mustard, bacon, honey, buttered toast, and usually whatever else I could find to throw in. The perfect mixture of salty, tangy, and sweet!

Tonight, for the first time in a while, I felt like experimenting with my food again. I haven't felt like this in a long time, nor have I had time! When your life is as busy as mine is, between work, class, church, trying to divide my time for my favorite people, and tv (lol), well... let's just say you hit a lot of drive thrus.

I didn't intend to experiment tonight. My tummy rumbled and I went to the kitchen. That's when the feeling hit me. And it all started from there. And that is where the delicious, delectable, beautiful, AMAZING Vegetarian Nacho Poppers were born!

Ingredients for the nachos:

• Tostitos Multigrain Scoops
• Shredded Cheese
• Lemon Pepper
• Sea Salt
• Ranch
• 1/4 of a cucumber (chopped)
• Olives (chopped)
• 2/3 of a tomato (chopped)
• Ground oregano
• Basil leaves

Ingredients for the guacamole:

• 4 avacados
• 1 lime
• 1 tablespoon cilantro
• Sea salt
• 1/4 of a cucumber (chopped)
• 1/3 of a tomato (chopped)
• 1 1/2 tbs Lemon Pepper
• 1/4 tsp Cumin
• 1 tbs garlic
• 1/4 cup of milk

Amanda's Vegetarian Nacho Poppers

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Spread as many Tostitos onto a cookie sheet as you want to make. I recommend putting aluminum foil over the cookie sheet FIRST. I was a dummy and forgot aluminum foil... it took me ten minutes to wash the baked-on cheese off of the cookie sheet.
3. Sprinkle shredded cheese over the Tostitos generously. Any shredded cheese will work - I used the generic brand. Great Value Fiesta Cheese.
4. Put a small dab of ranch in the middle of each chip, over the cheese.

5. Sprinkle the tostitos with plenty of Sea Salt and Lemon Pepper. Remember, not too much, not too little! I recommend plenty of Lemon Pepper. I love Lemon Pepper!!
6. The easiest method I found for chopping cucumber was to cut it into those circular slices, then slice those vertically, then horizontally. Chop up about a 1/4 of the cucumber and sprinkle the pieces over the nachos.

7. Sprinkle chopped olives onto the nachos next. You can chop your own olives, but I just used chopped olives from a can... because I'm lazy.

8. Dice a tomato and sprinkle 2/3 of it onto the nachos.
9. Sprinkle oregano leaves (I just used the kind that comes in the little container... once again: lazy), basil leaves (again, container) and some more sea salt on them.
10. Pop them in the oven. Leave in approximately ten minutes, or until cheese is melted. Watch them carefully!!!! You don't want them to burn! Take them out once the cheese is gooey and melty. Then you'll get this:

Yummy goodness. :)

Amanda's Cilantro-Heavy Guacamole

1. Put 4 avocados into the blender. Mash them a little so they will blend better. (You may think you need less than that, but trust me. You will need all four. Mine didn't taste avocado-y enough... I ran out of avocados after 3! So definitely, have four on hand.) 
2. Put your lime on the table and roll it around under your hand, pressing firmly. This will release even more juices once you cut it. Cut it in half and squeeze the juice out of both sides into the blender.
3. Use about a tablespoon of chopped cilantro. I used much more than this, and the cilantro was too over-powering. If you want to add more, that's your prerogative. But use only a tablespoon first. If it's not enough for you, add more later.
4. Throw in the rest of your chopped cucumber, about 1/4 of the cucumber.
5. Pour in plenty of lemon pepper, and I mean plenty! I used probably around 1 to 1 1/2 tablespoons.
6. You need just a dash of cumin. Around 1/4 of a teaspoon. You can measure exactly if you want to, but just a dash of it will do.
7. Pour in a 1/4 cup of milk. Any kind of milk should work. I used 2%.
8. Add about 1 tbs of garlic. You can add more to taste, if you like.
9. Blend them all in the blender until it is creamy and smooth. It doesn't have to be perfectly smooth, so don't fret if it's not.
10. Pour out of the blender and into a bowl. Toss in the rest of the diced tomatoes, and add in sea salt, to taste. And voila!

Oh, the idiosyncracies of which I suffer.

I have this almost unfailing tendency to forget how far I have progressed. I temporarily lose the years, months, or weeks I have spent studying an art, molding it to my own fancies, and how I made it my own. I forget what it felt like to create - to make something from nothing.


And I try to compare myself to people who I have no right comparing myself to: people who have years of experience on me, years of practice, and even more so: much more time on their hands to practice than I.
It's easy to lose yourself to thoughts of your own shortcomings. This I can attest to with strong confidence. But to be able to be proud of who you are, of what you have accomplished... to be proud of what you have learned... that is a feat in itself.

I've struggled with this for many, many years. I forget the innumerable years I have spent tailoring my writing ability, perfecting it, coaxing it, loving it, until I reached the point where I was proud to say, "This is my story. Won't you read it?" But today, when time gets in the way and priorities are rearranged, I forget how proud I once was of the writer I had become, and it's more like this... "This is my story... but it's not really finished yet... I'm no Jane Austen... you can read it if you really want to...." And so on, and so forth.


Then began photography. I say "began" not really in this sense of a beginning, but more in the sense of a "do-over," or a new appreciation for something I'd already had an interest in. Now I'm taking photography classes, I'm investing in better equipment... I'm trying to make photography my own, just like I did with my writing. But every other photographer's pictures look much better, more pristine, more professional, more creative, more breathtaking, more... everything.


I need to remember that I'm still learning, and will be for years to come. I'm not an expert, and my pictures will blossom with time. Perhaps if I can remember that, it will be easier for me to be patient on my long road of discovery. I just hope the road is pretty, and I better get some damn good pictures.

During which I was repeatedly kidnapped.

A few nights ago I was repeatedly woken by a series of frightening dreams. In the first, I was driving along the highway in my truck when my engine fell out! I checked my cell phone to call somebody, AAA, or someone else closer... and it was dead. I got out of my truck and approached a dilapidated shack on the side of the highway in front of which a middle-aged man was working with his hands, building something from nothing. Unlike the real me, I asked if I could use his phone, and he did not hesitate to hasten me into his condemned hole of a home. Once inside I discovered that he had also welcomed into his home several young teenagers, some looking my age, some perhaps even younger. They all, however, looked like they were into heavy drugs and other miscellaneous instruments of torture upon the body.

Something sinister was about to happen, and I wanted out of there. Phone or now phone. But no matter how often or seriously or sweetly I asked, the man would not let me use his phone or even leave until after, he kept saying, after. After what? After they killed me? After they forced me to use heavy drugs? Just as I was considering making a break for it, a cop burst through the back door. Thank God, I thought, someone's here to talk some sense into this man! But I was wrong. This cop was dirty, and he was what everyone else had been waiting for... and they all looked at me.

That's when I woke, trapped in that house with that creepy man, and those doped up teenagers, and that dirty cop. I couldn't move, I couldn't call for help, and I couldn't breathe.

I lay awake for at least ten minutes before I finally fell back into a light slumber, but time after time, I was awoken by another unhappy dream. In each one I was driving down the highway in my truck, my truck broke down, my phone was dead, I went to find help, and I was kidnapped. In every single dream I was kidnapped. In every dream I was trapped, lost, helpless, and lonely. And there was absolutely nothing I could do.

For the last time I woke after one of these horrid dreams and swallowed some melatonin. It helped me go back to sleep and this time the dream was sweet. In it there was a young man, a cancer patient. Quiet, reserved, and lonely, he spoke to absolutely no one. Everyone else thought him weird, ignorant, rude, selfish. I didn't. The dream me understood what he was going through. In the end of the dream, I was the first person he spoke to, other than doctors, in a number of years.

I don't believe in the symbolism pertaining to the telling of the future when it comes to dreams, but I do believe that your dreams can tell you things about your subconscious that you don't know, or bring to the surface embedded fears, wishes, hopes, worries.

I'm worried about my truck. I'm afraid that I'll break down one day and not know what to do.

I'm worried about my piece of crap phone, that one day it will finally die for good and I'll be stranded with no way to call anyone.

And I'm worried about being kidnapped. My mother ingrained in me from the very beginning of my childhood a fear of being kidnapped. From the stories of little girls kidnapped at age 11 and found years later

(still living in a tent in that man's backyard, having had two children by him and might I add, all having happened while the man was married - and his wife knew all along what was going on), to the story of Natalie Holloway, not much older than me, who went missing on a trip to Cuba and was never found...

This world is a cruel and unyielding one, and without guidelines and careful consideration of decisions and without moderation, we would all be swept away by its evil. Keeping our eyes on the prize and our hearts with God is the only way to survive with our integrity and pride intact.

Dear Future Husband,

I am going to sing in the shower. Sometimes really loudly and obnoxiously. I’m going to cry during dramatic movies like Titanic and P.S. I Love You, and kick my legs excitedly from happiness at all the good moments in them. I’m going to get mad at you from time to time, and you’re not going to know why. I’m going to steal the covers and I’ll probably take up most of the bed with my legs. I’m going to forever love Disney, and go see each new Disney movie in theaters. You will be tagging along.

I am going to laugh really loud when you say stupid things. I’m going to make fun of you every chance I get. I’m going to tickle you, just to see you smile. I’m going to stare into your eyes before we fall asleep and each morning when we wake up. I’m going to kiss you good morning before I even brush my teeth.

I’m going to name our children unusual names, because they fascinate me. They will also all have two middle names, because my parents did it, and I want to make it a tradition. Our parents will spoil them rotten, & you will have to be okay with that. When I’m pregnant I will probably get mad at you even more easily than usual, and I will expect you to just take it as it comes. I am going to crave the weirdest combinations of food. You will have to go to the grocery store to get them for me.

I am going to spend too much money on books. We will have too many bookshelves. But if you complain, I’ll get mad. I’m also going to spend too much money on DVDs, shoes, and dresses. And home decorations. And candles.

I will fight with you over who gets to hold the remote, and which movie we’re going to watch that night. I will deny it when you claim I watch too much tv (even though it will be true) and I will probably listen to a lot of girly music that you won’t like. When you complain, I will crank it up louder.

I’m going to buy a house with you and we’re going to make it our home. We’re not going to make a life in an apartment or in your parents’ basement, so you can erase that from your mind now. We’re going to have a backyard with a swing set and a pool and rocking chair. I’m going to buy lots of windchimes because they’re pretty and make beautiful clamor, so we must have a porch from which I can hang them.

I’m going to love you more deeply and passionately than anyone has ever loved you. I’m going to kiss you as often as I can and tell you I love you every second that I feel it (which will be most of them). I won’t be ashamed to be weird with you in front of our friends. Your weirdness will complete mine.

You’ll complete me.

See ya soon,

Me.